Happy 6 everyone! Yes, i.a.m Jewelry & Creations is turning 6 this month!! Time flies crazy fast and I still cannot believe we've been in business for six years. June is a big month for i.a.m Jewelry & Creations but also for myself too. The past six years have definitely seen their highs and lows, but more than that, six years ago June was an unforgettable and the most difficult time in my life.
The story I am about to tell has never been told publicly before. This is a very private and delicate part of me, so please do not judge me. LOL. Ok, here is my story.
Six years ago, I hit rock bottom. Everyone’s rock bottom is different, and you may have experienced one, but in my case, my marriage failing was the scariest and the saddest lifetime event I never wished to occur back then. I was completely broken and suffered from depression, fear, hopelessness, and anxiety. Having been so dependent on my ex-husband, I didn't know how to be independent. Working a part-time job as a barista was not enough. I struggled financially and was not even qualified to rent an apartment at that time.
The separation also affected my self-esteem. I did not like myself at all. Not only did I completely lose myself, I lost the will and courage to live. Only negative thoughts flowed in my head such as, “I’m so worthless and can’t do anything without my husband”. The more negative I became, the more I felt I was lost in a maze where there would never be an exit. The hatred I had towards myself was acute.
Before my marriage fell apart, making jewelry was my only hobby. I enjoyed the process of making what I imagined in my head become reality. But of course, I stopped making jewelry after the separation. In the midst of all this, I questioned myself, “Who am I? What do I want to do in my life? What is my purpose in life?” Asking myself these questions sparked a light inside of me to search for answers. I have to prove to everyone including myself that I can do it. “I am already at rock bottom and cannot go any deeper. From here, I could only go up!” This new way of thinking helped me to stand alone on my own two feet. Maybe one side of my Gemini tried to pull me back from the dark side. Yes, this was my turning point. I felt that my journey to recovery and to rediscover myself was to turn my hobby into my business.
Jewelry making became my form of therapy. It allowed me to explore my creativity, thus allowing me to search for my identity and purpose in life. The more I did it, the clearer it became for me to continue on this path to find the answer of who I am and what I want to do in my life. When my jewelry began receiving compliments, it became a fuel that ignited my confidence. During my first event in November 2016 I sold my pieces to people other than my family and friends for the first time. It was an exciting moment and I never felt that way in my life! I was like, “Wow, people really bought my jewelry!!” Besides receiving compliments, I also gained real customers. I felt like I was on the right path in life. I will never forget that moment.
With each piece of jewelry I make, a part of me is infused with its essence. Each design begins with that little spark I felt inside of me. Then I sketch it out, make samples, try them on, and fall in love. This process gives me so much satisfaction and is such a joy. I feel reassured that my creation is the result of my absolute passion. It's a way to know myself better, and a way to express myself. My jewelry holds this reminder that you have the power to make your life the way you want it to be.
As you already know, i.a.m is Mai spelled backward. It is my mirror self reflecting back at me. This business is my reminder that I can overcome obstacles. It is a reflection of who I truly am and what I’m capable of. It holds as a constant reminder of the importance of accepting, loving, and expressing myself. My business forced me to rise up and climb from my lowest depth. Life will always have highs and lows, ups and downs, ebb and flow of currents. It’s hard, but you need to find your own way to ride the waves. There is always a way. These Yin & Yang life experiences gave me the opportunity to find the balance to grow from where I was. It gave me the opportunity to learn to be aware of the important things and the opportunity to appreciate the mundane. When shit happens, it means you have a chance to transform and evolve to become a better version of yourself.
Deciding to pursue this path was revolutionary. In a way, my most painful experience with my failed marriage was meant to happen. It allowed me to find myself. It allowed me to regain control of my life. I began to see myself aligned in a different light. Until we are able to rise up, climb, and ride the waves of struggles and adversities, we will not be able to live the life we desire. My journey of struggles and pain led me to where I am now. I am ever-growing and evolving.
Today, I continue to put all of my heart and soul into empowering everyone to find their own self-expression, just as I did six years ago. It is up to us to rise up, climb, and ride the waves of struggles and adversities in order to live a life of our choosing.